Christian · Delima

I haven't been here for a while. It's because Myspace and Facebook kinda took over but this place is special because nobody reads this shit.

I realized what my biggest fear is. I'm afraid that I will let myself be miserable. I'm afraid that she's not gonna let me be happy. Would she let me be happy if that means letting me go? I don't know. She didn't before and I'm not too sure if that's for the right reason. Maybe I'm really afraid if she really gonna do it again, I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Like last time, where I can holler and yell but nothing stopped her. So in a way, I'm really afraid that she doesn't care about me. She doesn't see my suffering and struggles, well, she doesn't care for them. Whatever makes her happy will happen, even if it hurts people around her.

Not that I think she's doing anything remotely close to that right now. But it just freaks me out everytime she mentions some dude that she thinks kind of attractive. I don't know. I'm just paranoid and maybe that's the point. Sometime I feel like maybe this isn't the best choice. Why am I here? Why do I have to face this? Wouldn't it be eaiser to just run and be with somebody else that you're not constantly wondering if they're going to betray you?

I keep thinking of this girl who is so damn cute and funny. She's always on my mind. I keep dreaming that I should've just left and find her and say that I like her and if she wants to have dinner sometime this weekend. I dream that I lay next to her and peer into her green eyes and wondering if this is all real. I can just sit there and just watch her for hours. Her smile, her hair... her freckles. Sigh. I like her so much that I struggle with my own existence. A constant struggle of, does she like me? Does she think I'm a creep. Why wouldn't she reply email right away?

I always think that I have a shot and I realized that's my downfall, so I convinced myself that she's just too nice to blow you off and she's just tolerating you. She's too smart and way too pretty for you. You have NOTHING in common. She deserves better.

I have her number but I wouldn't dare to call. I have her myspace but I wouldn't dare to click on it. I kept avoiding her but it's not working. Maybe I should just try to talk to her. About what? Tell her you love her? Tell her that you can't stop thinking about her while she probably never gave you one minute of her day thinking about you? You're a shithead. A stupid shithead.

Well, here I am. The girl who brought me here the first time got me back here again. You have no idea how happy I am that I get to be in her life in some form or another again. Although it's funny that I burned a bridge with Heather that morning before I knew that she responded to my comment and added me back to her friends list. I never thought she would respond to it, well, at least not this soon. But I guess things change. But it makes me happy. Quite happy.

So why or how did I burn the bridge with Heather? Well, so after a year of silence we talked again and I finally got some closure. Fast forward, Sarah ended up being best friends with her and we actually took her to our trip to San Diego. That was a fun trip and all, but I realize that I'm so glad that I didn't end up with her. What's her problem? You know what, I really don't want to list them here, but I don't want to hang around with somebody who put blinders in front of her eyes and claim that's the real life. I've had enough. Now, I care about her, I really do. But sometime you just need to walk away when your friend is drowning and she doesn't want to be helped.

I've cut people off before, and I've regretted some of it. One in particular is the girl that I mentioned earlier. Will I regret this one? I don't think so, but if it does, fuck it. Life goes on.

Okay, okay. This is really late, but still relevant nonetheless.

Nathaniel just had to wear Rio's Halo shirt..even though it was much too big. lol

this was Halloween night. We went out trick or treating. Nathaniel was a cat and I will explain Rio and my costume a few more pics down...

Nathaniel and I in a very happy mood.

Rio and my oh so creative costume.. I am a Brick house, and the handsome boy next to me..the brick layer. Oh yes he is! lol the back of his shirt (I handmade our costumes from an idea i got online) it says Rio's BRICKLAYING The best lay in town!. The door of my costume opens up revealing an adorable pussy cat! i am sad to regret I dint take a picture of my....cat.. for all to see :) haha

what i was describing...kinda hard to read in this shot. sorry

This is my favorite picture of the baby and me. Say cheese!

Ali is a good friend from rio's work. she had on bunny ears. woohoo

this is the hunk who hosted the party. sigh. dylan, you're the best!

some other guests

Us just chillin'

I took Heather to the party with us. We had a blast.

and one more random picture, Our computer has a setting called Photo booth and the boys have been messing with it. I call this one, "Can you hear me now?" lol

More random pics

My best friend Dave and I with Nathaniel

So, the fest is up and reviews are start pouring on from people that don't know me and don't give a crap what I feel. The negatives are pointed out, but nothing that I haven't realized already. Although some were kinda questionable. Somebody complained that they don't really care about one of the character; while this is a valid point, I didnt really give that character enough exposure in the first place,
I was wondering if you could care about a character in a 5 min movie? Can you care about a character, let's say if you watch an episode of a TV show and it's the second to last episode? You will have no idea what's going on, and you won't have any feelings reserve for them, right?

But whatever, I'll prove them wrong next time. Nobody does this stuff better than me.

Anyhow, well, our cars broke down. That's right. CARS (plural!!!) mine broke down first, then sarah's two weeks later. Now, this is so avoidable if somebody is not pigheaded about something, but whatever. We promptly get a loan, and find a car. We settle on this Audi A4 sedan. It's a nice car. But like anything we buy, or at least I buy, I always question myself afterwards, but can't really do anything about it now, we put a deposit on it, and we're gonna pick it up on saturday. Hopefully our run of bad lucks ends now.

Nathaniel was enjoying his lunch

o what a bum!

hey I'm over here...

we were at a restaurant (this was like a year ago)..

this is his favorite fat kitty :)

whoah, a little close there

bundled up in the snow for the first time!

last years super bowl. sorry eagles..

at a phillies game. he claimed his own seat

me and my cousin holly...im the really blond one lol (we do look alike though. shes just skinnier haaa)

on the quad in california with uncle josh

he was rather chubby at christmas. lost some weight since then..

we took a picture of ourselves at the phillies game :)

we were dirty for daddy's zombie movie. hehehe dont we look a fright?

back at the philly airport they were glad to be off the plane!

daddy was attacking one dirty and tired little baby...

dirty ol' me

we were kissing in the car on the way to playing miniature golf..

in cali this is me and my cousin and my other cousins girlfriend

rio and dave with samuel l jackson in new york. (he is wax but its so real looking its creepy!

heather and i with beyonce..she dint look as convincing. lol

he wanted to join the fourth of july parade so bad.. we ALMOST let him

peek a boo on the bus to the reading phils with rios work...fun times

this was the beach, he got sunscreen in his eyes, yet still enjoyed the water and sand

actually he loved it so much he kept dumping it in his own hair (wierd kid i got here lol!)

and then he met a goat at the zoo...

back at the phillies game a coworker made the mistake of letting him hold her water guns

Nathaniel loves to drive cars...

and boats!

Firsts...
Age of your first kiss?: 14
Who was your first crush.boyfriend.girlfriend?: Crush: I can't remember her name, but it was grade school and she was chinese looking, with long hair. O, man she was cute. G/F? Nadia. One of my the best. lol
What is your first memory of?: My dad and mom throwing things and yelling at each other.
Age you first drank?: 17? I can't remember.
First nightmare?: Beats me.
First breakup?: 14
Your first best friend?: Totally can't remember their name.
Do you remember your first Christmas?: Christmas in america? sure. Didn't really do much though. lol.
First word you said?: Jeez, don't know.

This or That? That.
Hot chocolate or tea?: Cocoa.
Paris of Nikki Hilton?: Nikki all the way
Bedtime or awaketime?: Bedtime.
Football or Basketball?: Football.
early bird or wake at noon?: Noon. I haven't been able to sleep in much.
Coco-Puffs or Raisin Brain?: Coco PUFFS!!!!
American eagle or PacSun?: PacSun.
Hoodies or sweaters?: Sweater.
Sking or Snowboarding?: Snowboarding.
Long hair or short?: Long.
Blue or Brown eyes?: Blue.
Brains or Brawns?: Brains.
Reading or Writing?: Writing.
Watching movies or watching tv?: Movies.
Singing or Playing an instrument?: Playing an instrument.
Pencil or pen?: Pen.
Braclets or Necklaces?: Necklaces.
Gold or Silver?: GOLD
Snow or Rain?: Rain
Boys or Girls?: Girls.
Blondes or Brunetts?: Blondes.
Doctors or Dentists?: Doctors.
Eminem or Dave Matthews Band?: Dave Matthews Band. I hate eminem.
At the theaters or on the couch?: Theaters.
Reality Shows or Sitcoms?: Sitcom. Reality Shows are the devil.
Britney or Christina?: You serious? This is so 2002. lol
Naughty or Nice?: Nice
Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny: Santa

Last...
Thing you ate?: French Fries
Song you listened to?: Some Coldplay song.
Time you cried?: Not in a long time.
Phone call you recieved?: Wifey.
IM you sent?: This morning. Holly was up early.
Fight you had?: Um, don't know. 2 weeks ago maybe. can't remember.
Failing grade you got?: JAVA class. it sucks.
Thing you smiled over?: The thought of having my iPod next week. :P
Website you viewed?: Phillysports.com. Gotta keep track of the EAGLES.
Thing you wrote on paper?: random number for work.
Time you slept?: Last night.
Time you went minature golfing?: It was earlier this summer. That was fun. Also my first batting cage.
Thing you thought about?: That I want to go to sleep.
Dream you had?: I really can't remember.
Time you got your hair done?: A few months ago maybe, I need a hair cute.
Time you got a hug?: Wifey hugs me when I took a nap today.

Random
What time is it?: 10:31
What are you doing?: Having a conversation with my coworkers.
Whats your favorite scent?: Rain.
Do you have any animals?: Nope.
What do you want to go to college for?: Film, but really don't want to go.
What kind of toothpaste do you use?: Colgate?
Sports or Music?: Sports
Real or Fake?: Fake. We're talking about boobs right?